


Vulcans Are Not Ticklish

by DictionaryWrites



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Banter, Fluff, M/M, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 13:20:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2548955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DictionaryWrites/pseuds/DictionaryWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drunken Jim and a well-humoured McCoy gang up on the former’s husband.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vulcans Are Not Ticklish

"Bones!” comes Jim’s delighted voice, and McCoy turns his head, regarding the other man with a raised eyebrow. Jim stumbles a little, and McCoy lets out a quiet sigh, shaking his head in a half-affectionate way as he makes his way forwards.

“James T  _Kirk._ ” He says disapprovingly, and catches the other man under the forearms, supporting him down the corridor. They’re on a wayship through the quadrant, headed for Vulcan, and for once it was  _not_  an official matter.

Spock was attending some great nephew or other’s-

 _Ceremony_  McCoy could  _not_  pronounce, but all the same; he and Kirk were going with him. 

And Jim had, as Jim was wont to do, met an old friend and gone to get  _drunk_ , it seems. He’d lost his knowledge of his tolerance in his old age - silly thing.

“Bones, Bones, Bones,” Jim says, and he cups the side of McCoy’s face affectionately, grinning up at the doctor with his big wide grin. “ _Bones._ ”

“ _Jim._ ” McCoy returns, and he half-carries, half-leads the younger man up the hall and towards his and Spock’s quarters. “Where’s that green hob-goblin?”

“Jim.” The aforementioned green hob-goblin says, frozen in the corridor with his head tilted just slightly to the one side. His eyebrows are raised, and while he does not look  _irritated_ , his expression is not an amused one. “You are drunk.”

“I’m not  _drunk_ , Spock!” Jim insists. Spock’s left eyebrow heightens further than his right. He meets McCoy’s gaze, and McCoy shrugs his shoulders, his lips pressed together. “Look, Spock, Bones is here.  _Friendly Southern doctor._ ” He says in a painful attempt at McCoy’s drawl, and he does his best not to tut in disapproval.

Spock takes a step forwards, and he carefully takes Kirk’s weight from McCoy’s form, supporting Kirk into their quarters and gesturing – not impolitely – for Bones to follow them inside.

“He  _is_  a Southern doctor.” Spock says, and he pushes Kirk into a seat in the first room; McCoy nudges the Vulcan hard in the shoulder, affecting Spock to regard him with faux insult on his green-tinged features.

“You saying I ain’t friendly, Spock?” McCoy asks with a cluck of his tongue.

“By omission, yes.” Jim laughs in his seat, and then he puts out his hand, his right hand, towards Spock. McCoy grins, completely satisfied, as Spock’s cheeks and ears turn even greener than usual. “T’hy’la-” He objects in a very quiet tone.

“Oh, you go right ahead, Spock. Nothing I haven’t seen before.” McCoy says, and Spock almost  _scowls_  at him before he takes Jim’s hand in a deliberate fashion, pressing his lips to the back of Kirk’s fingers. “ _Spite_  is not logical, Spock.”

“I am not spiteful, Doctor. I am merely displaying spousal affection.”

“I love it when you fight.” Kirk says cheerfully, leaning forwards so that his temple rests against Spock’s hip. Spock glances down at him; he does not roll his eyes – of course not, that would be  _un_ Vulcan – but he does look unamused.

McCoy remembers how they used to look: Kirk in his gold shirt in his command chair, and Spock stood beside him – that was long ago, decades ago, before Kirk and Spock held hands at all.

Let alone in front of  _McCoy._

“I am glad it amuses you so.”

“Are you really glad, Spock?” McCoy asks in a fake-wounded fashion.

“No.” Spock says bluntly, and Jim lets out a little giggle, pulling Spock’s hand to his mouth and kissing the inside of his wrist. Spock’s eyes widen momentarily, and his lips twitch. McCoy takes a very slow step forwards.

“ _Spock._ ” He says deliberately, and the expression on Spock’s face betrays his (well-disguised) distrust. “Are you  _ticklish?”_

“Vulcans do not get “ticklish”.” Spock says in a dry tone, but he very cautiously steps slightly away from McCoy all the same.

“I don’t think that’s true, Spock.”

“Doctor McCoy, if you  _dare_ -”

“Dare what? Dare  _what_ , Spock? I wouldn’t  _tickle_  you!” McCoy says innocently, his hands on his chest. Spock relaxes slightly, the stiffness leaving his shoulders. “I’d never do something so undignified to a dear,  _old_  friend of mine, no.”

Spock believes him, too, and that momentary lapse of judgement is what McCoy needs to grab the Vulcan’s wrists and pin him still. “I’d just hold him still so his husband could!”

Kirk’s hands are rapid on Spock’s body, and he  _shakes_ , letting out breathy sounds that are not quite laughs as he falls against McCoy, his arms going weak before he can twist his wrists free. He falls back against the drunken idiot behind him once Jim stops, and he  _does_  scowl at McCoy this time.

“Thank you, Doctor McCoy.” Spock says grimly. “We shall see you tomorrow.”

“Oof!” McCoy says in a pained fashion, and he clutches at his heart. “Your beau is kickin’ me out for tickling you, Jim!” Jim’s arms wrap around Spock’s waist, and he stands on his tip-toes to look at McCoy amusingly over the Vulcan’s shoulder.

“I may be  _drunk_ , Bones,” Jim says seriously (his hair is a  _mess_ , and Bones can smell the Scotch from here). “But even while inebr-ine-”

“Inebriated, Jim.” Spock supplies.

“Yes,  _thank_  you, Spock.” Jim says dismissively. “Even like  _that_ , I know that you will not want to watch what comes next.” Spock’s lip twitches in amusement, and Bones shakes his head.

“Your head better be outta that gutter by the time I see you next, Jim.”

“Oh, I am sure Mister Spock will deliver it  _quite_  aptly from my system.” Bones laughs as he leaves – not at his good friend’s innuendo, of course, but at Spock’s face in the mirror on the wall.

After all, an embarrassed Spock, even an embarrassed Spock with a drunken Jim wrapped around his shoulders like a terribly scented shawl, is a very funny Spock indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic can be found on Tumblr [ here](http://dictionarywrites.tumblr.com/post/101513089783/vulcans-are-not-ticklish). If you'd like to make any requests, my ask is [here](http://dictionarywrites.tumblr.com/ask), and my [ commission info is here](http://dictionarywrites.tumblr.com/post/95787169223/check-me-out-on-ao3-my-writing-tumblr-or).


End file.
